21 things you only know if you cross stitch

Our seams aren’t so artfully disorganized (Photo: AP)

The cross stitch is ridiculously twee.

It’s old fashioned and tedious and completely, totally addicting.

Because nothing is more relaxing than the color block in much of your most recent project on the couch in front of the one night TV.

If you spend your free time searching the carpet for fallen needles, counting stitches, and dividing skeins of thread to make another bookmark or coaster that you really don’t need, you should realize that you are addicted.

Here are 21 things you only know if you cross stitch.

1. The anticipation and buzz you get when you stretch your Aida to 14 points on a frame to start a new point…

2.… Which only turns into annoyance when you remember the state of your sons.

And again, you promise yourself that you will buy them a suitable case.

3. Because while those 100 Different Colors for Peanuts from Amazon seemed like a bargain, now they’re a messy, knotted mess at the bottom of your sewing box.

4. And even though you have what seems like an incredible range of technicolor dreamcoat shades, you still don’t have the correct skin tone.

Or a blank. Or a shade of green that works for the leaves.

5. The knot that appears in your thread when you are halfway through a stitch is enough to drive you crazy.

6. But you’d rather take care of that rather than the dirty thumbprint or tea stain that appeared devastatingly on your half-finished piece.

You quickly learn to wash your hands before touching it again.

7. What is a problem when trying to sew on the move.

White Aida on the tube anyone?

Get that tea away from your seams! (Photo: TuelekZa)

FOLLOWING : 21 things you only know if you knit

8. You’re sick of the cute bunnies and cupcakes that most sewing patterns seem to feature, so you decide to design your own, cool and edgy.

Only to realize that it’s harder than it looks.

9. But when you find the perfect pattern, it’s like a match made in heaven.

10. Sewing all the dark blue thread (150) of the pattern together at one time seems like a great idea.

11. But it turns out that counting on three, down 12, then sewing four across and down one, then counting on nine and down six before sewing three, in one, down of three, is more difficult than it looks.

12. And get thirty points because you counted 11 not 12 and everything is one point is enough to make you want to throw it all out the window.

It’s done now, right? (Photo: Ashley Matheny)

FOLLOWING : 21 things you only know if you’ve been a guide

13. When you are finally done, everything stays in the embroidery hoop because you really can’t look at a sewing needle for a while.

14. And it turns out that wooden hoops don’t just make practical frames.

You’ve been known to use them as coasters for fondues, repurpose a few as pucks when there are kids around, or use one to hang up your earrings.

15. Every time cross stitch appears in a story, you get ridiculously over-excited.

16. Although you really wish you had thought of it yourself:

MORE: This man cross-stitched the 2015 UK elections

17. Because it got to the point of dreaming in cross stitch.

18. And when you look at the world, you see it through a grid.

19. But you already have more cross stitch coasters, Christmas decorations, and pillows than anyone could ever need.

20. And your friends are tired of receiving them as gifts because they get a new wall hanging every year.

21. But you are already thinking about your next project because you are completely addicted.

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